Skeletor, you’re a dick. Dude, stop trying to conquer Eternia. You really sat at home and created that flying weapon that turns things into stone and then turns them into live evil stone minions? It just seems like an awful lot of time to spend on something so lame, and so easily thwarted by He-Man. That’s all I’m saying. I heard the “He-Man” music coming a mile away, and I’m not even in the cartoon. You must have heard it the second you started building that thing.
Oh, and He-Man talks a little bit like John Wayne with too much reverb.
I hate you.
The Tribeca Grand Hotel transports you to a late 70s Holiday Inn, but at five times the price and without the Holidome. The absence of ping pong and arcade is more than made up for by the opportunity to be treated like crap by the guy who did not land the role of Samantha’s boyfriend in Sex in the City. Not even the white noise generators can drown out the pretension.
Subway singing groups today perform less Boyz II Men than ever before.
You Never Give Skee Your Money
Don’t Pass Skee By
Skee Came In Through The Bathroom Window
Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Skee and My Monkey
Tell Skee Why
You Won’t Skee Me
Can’t Buy Skee Love
Filed under Music, Sports
This has been one of the most intense skeesons ever in the Southeast Skee Ball Association, and this week’s skeedule is no exskeeption. In the Association’s marquee matchup, the Greensboro Go-Getters take on the first place Pensacola Power. The Power, betraying their team name to some extent, roll a finesse game, aiming ever so gently for those corner 100 point slots. In fairness to P-Cola, that’s really every team’s game, as anyone who rolls this much Skee has a pretty good shot at scoring the century ball. Skeeping it real this weekend, the Association has the Richmond Rollers taking on the Knoxville Knights in a double header. Richmond is trailing the Power by only the slimmest of margins, so don’t miss this one, ladies and gentlemen. This one is truly for all the tickets and the 25 piece tool set for which they can be redeemed.
After the match, stick around for Live Band Skee Ball Karaoke, hosted by musicians from Knoxville’s premier Skee Ball-themed Nick Cave tribute band, Nick Cave and The Bad Skeeds. As a special treat, they’ll be performing Billy Joel’s ‘Skeeping The Faith’ album in its entirety, along with your usual favorites, like Janis Joplin’s ‘Me and Bobby McSkee’, Bob Dylan’s ‘If You Skee Her, Say Hello”, and The Decemberists’ The Island: Come & Skee/The Landlord’s Daughter/You’ll Not Skeel The Drowning.
We’ll skee you there.